The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

I Love Golf Too Much (Part 2)

Yesterday I shared a story about how golf makes me a terrible husband. Today is a story about how golf helps me to be a good person…but still makes me a crappy husband.

When I play golf (which is about once a month), I get real excited. I put out the clothes I am gonna wear the next day like I used to do on the first day of school. I clean my clubs. Sometimes I even clean older golf balls. I do a little research on the golf course I am gonna tear up. BTW…when I say tear up I mean literally not figuratively. Golf superintendents hate people like me because I make a course look like a minefield that has been activated.

I don’t do this anymore but up until a year ago I also went grocery shopping to buy vitamin water, bananas, and sandwich material for me and my playing partners. So I wake up at 4:30am to make sandwiches for my playing partners, which is extreme behavior because I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. I made ham and cheese sandwiches and pb&j sandwiches. I bagged each one into ziplock bags placing them in a separate paper bags with a banana, vitamin water, and granola bar. As I finish the last one I look up and see my wife who is standing by the kitchen door. She is shaking her head and says, “What the…Oh my…Wow…This is just…Wow. Have you ever done this for your own children?”

What could I possibly say to that? Btw…if you are judging me right now, let me just say for the record that I have made sandwiches for my children plenty of times. Never in the morning or at the expense of my sleep but I have. I am not a total loser. Just a partial one.

So I said, “It’s not how it looks. It’s meaningless. It’s just this one time. It will never happen again.” I threw every cliche at her that a man would give when he cheats on his wife. Then I told her I had to go because I didn’t want to be late for our tee time. Like I said yesterday, I know in hindsight how bad this story is. I really do. But as I said yesterday, love makes you do crazy things. Look I am not saying I love golf more than my family. I’m just saying, you know, what I’m saying.

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