Growing up I watched movies where women jumped into the arms of their men. I saw scenes of men sweeping their wives off their feet and carrying them to the bedroom. Since I was young I wanted this to be my reality. Then I met my wife. She hates being carried. When I say hate, I mean hate. Throughout our marriage I have tried multiple times to sweep her off her feet (literally). The result…massive convulsions and strikes to my head with her screaming, “Put me down! Put me down! Stop it!” Imagine Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man except she is hitting my head.
Most men would stop. I am not your typical man. In the face of such reaction I felt I needed to help my wife overcome her distaste for being carried. So for the last 10.5 years I have tried over and over again to pick her up off her feet. I felt that I could change her so that she could fulfill a fantasy I have. Will I ever stop? Will I ever leave my wife alone?
She just walked into my office while I was trying to type this entry. I tried picking her up again. FAIL!