Yesterday I wrote about my emotions and thoughts on the future weddings of my girls. It’s such a common theme isn’t it? A father’s pain in losing a daughter is well documented. What doesn’t get enough press and attention is the importance of a man finding a good woman. We as fathers worry so much about the men who will marry our daughters but I feel like it is our sons we should worry about the most. Let me explain.
We all know that women end up wearing the pants in the family. They are smarter, in some ways stronger, and can be in many instances relationally more in tune. Even if you have a macho man who marries a quiet passive woman, the tides always turn as the couple ages. So what is my point. I believe women can survive loser guys more than men can survive a bad wife. I have seen countless women marry bad men and still maintain their faith, integrity, family relationships, etc. When a man marries a bad wife, game over. He loses everything.
It is interesting to me that this reality has never led our society or culture to consider how important it is for a man to find a really good woman. Of course women need good men. But losing a son never gets the press or attention that parents of daughters get. I truly believe we need to focus on our sons just as much. If our daughters marry losers we will still most likely see them and have a relationship with them. If our son marries a Jezebel we will most likely lose him for good.
Is this sexist? I don’t know. That is not my intent. My intention is to express the need for fathers to think about the weddings of their sons as much as the weddings of their daughters. I have spoken to countless men who have walked their daughters down the aisle. They always say that it is different than watching their sons get married. Watching their daughters getting married stings a lot more for them. Maybe us fathers need to reconsider.
My brother and I are very blessed. We are married to two incredible women. My parents and extended family see and appreciate the fact that they have a good relationship with two daughter-in-laws. Our wives are really good to our family. My dad never had a daughter so he didn’t focus on losing his little girl. All he had were boys. But my dad talked to us about the importance of marriage and finding a good wife since we were 13 years old. I think my dad observed what I have observed and decided to instill the importance of finding a good wife. Every Saturday morning we would have family devotions. Without fail he would talk about two things…(i) how important it is to find a good wife and (ii) how important it is to understand that every penny we have as a family is a gift from God.
So I would like to raise a challenge to fathers who have sons. Let us think and prepare for our sons weddings as we do our daughters. We men are weak. We men are fragile. We are prone to wander. All the more we need good wives.