My wife is a bad driver. There is no other way to explain it. Every car she has ever driven she has hit another object. Her car, my car, her parents car…When we got our beautiful Expedition EL she got into another car accident less than a month after we got the car. I know it is so wrong, but I got really upset. It was a minor accident but the damage was severe to our car. Go figure right. We have the giant SUV and our car gets the worst of it.
As I said, I know its so wrong but I got really upset…
Wife: I got into another accident. (She said it in a way that I knew she was ok and that it wasn’t too serious…so don’t judge me for what follows next)
Me: WHAT? WHY? HOW? WHO?
Wife: What happened was…
Me: Why do you always do this? Why don’t you drive more carefully? This is gonna cost so much money!!!
Wife: I am SORRY! It was an accident. I didn’t do it on purpose. I didn’t hit another car just so I could make you angry!
Me: WHATEVER! Let’s get some ICE CREAM!
This is the truth by the way. We really went to go eat ice cream after my hissy fit.
So we get to the ice cream shop. There is no parking and no street parking so I yell in frustration and get ready to leave. I look in the rear view mirror and a street parking spot opened up behind me. I look for cars and start to back up. We have a huge car that has a rear sensor that beeps if you get close to something. That sensor was useless because I had our bike rack in the back so there was constant beeping.
Anyways, I back up and all of sudden I hear crumpling. I get out and for the first time in my life, I hit another car. First of all, it was a BMW convertible. I couldn’t see it because it was so small. The damage to his car was enormous because the bike rack rode all the way up his hood and side. He yells at me. I yell back. When I get back to the car, my wife has a grin on her face. I look at her at say, “What?” She said, “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
My wife was really good about not rubbing it in but I knew she was secretly enjoying all of this. The worst part of all this was fate not letting me forget. Every time I talked to the insurance company…
Me: Hi, I wanted to check on the status of the accident I reported on such and such date.
Insurance: Oh yes. The one in the morning on such and such street.
Me: No. That was the accident my wife got it. I am talking about the one in the afternoon on such and such street.
Insurance: Can you hold? Are you referring to accident on such and such date?
Me: Yes and No. My wife got in an accident in the morning and then later I hit a car in the afternoon after yelling at my wife. I get it. I get it. I deserved it. I should have knocked on wood. Can you just checked the status of my accident.
I hate karma.