The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

Thumb Suckers

Most parents have to deal with their children sucking their fingers, usually the thumb.  It actually can become a source of stress.  Is it ok?  At what age should they stop?  Will it really ruin their teeth structure?  All of my children, except #3, sucked their finger(s).  Notice the singular and plural.  There is a strange phenomenon in our family.  #1 sucked her thumb.  #2 sucked her index and middle finger at the same time.  #3 never sucked his fingers.  #4 sucked her index finger only.  #5 sucked her middle and ring finger at the same time.  Four different kids, four different combos.  Cracks me up.

#1 sucked her thumb.  Typical.  As first time parents we didn’t know what to do.  One day we told the doctor our concern and the fact that it seemed to help her sleep.  He said, “So you are telling me that thumb sucking comforts your daughter and it helps her sleep?  So what exactly is the problem?  Don’t worry about it.”  So we didn’t worry about it…for like two days.

#2 sucked her index and middle finger.  Funny right?  This kid was something else.  We noticed that this technique was causing her to have an under bite.  Try sucking on your index and middle fingers at the same time.  Do you feel that tug on the bottom jaw?  Well it is my theory that she was creating an under bite by sucking her fingers.  So we tried everything.  We bought this nasty thing you paint on their fingers that tastes really bad and looks like iodine.  Well it didn’t work.  That thing is like those Mexican candies that are nasty spicy on the outside but if you suck it long enough turns sweet.

#2 (and #1 for that matter) just took one for the team and kept sucking.

Since that didn’t work, I taped her fingers with water resistent medical tape.  She tried to suck but it felt so uncomfortable she would just drool and drool into the tape and through the crevices till it got so slippery, the tape would just slide off.

I know every parent and doctor has their opinion on the matter.  While my wife and I tried hard to rid our kids of finger sucking, we just decided to chalk this one up as “losing the battle to win the wars.”  We just told ourselves that no one sucks their fingers in junior high or becomes a bad person because of this habit so we let it go.  We felt like we were making too much of it.  Even if our kids decide to suck their fingers till they go to college, eventually peer pressure will take care of that issue.  It just takes one really mean (or funny comment) from a classmate and voila, the habit is gone.  So why sweat it when there are millions of other things we have to deal with like boys, safety, and demon possession.

Does this make me suck as a parent?  (sorry couldn’t resist that pun-ny comment).  What have you tried?  What do you think about finger sucking?

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Damn You Disney (Part 2)

So a couple of weeks ago I shared that #5 told me that she loves TinkerBell and me the same (click here to read).  A few days later I followed up with her on this issue and included #4 in the conversation as well.

Me: Hey #4, who is your favorite person in the world?

#4: My family

Me: But who is your favorite?  Who do you like better than the others?

#4: I love everyone in my family better.

Me: I love you.

#4: I love you too

Me: Hey #5!  Come over here…who is your favorite person in the world?

#5: #4 is.

Me: Wait, I thought you loved TinkerBell the most?

#5: I do!  I love #4 and TinkerBell.

Me: So you still love TinkerBell more than daddy?

#5: Noooooo…I love TinkerBell and #4 more than daddy.

FML

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Never Say Never

A couple of weeks ago I came across a woman’s blog who shared ten things she said she would never do as a parent but now does. I tried to find the link so you all could read it. Great writer. Anyways, I decided to do my own list of things I said I would never do as a parent that I find myself doing.

1. I will never fight with my wife in front of the kids.

2. I will never talk or play with my phone at the dinner table when my family is present.  And I will always eat dinner at the dinner table and never have the tv on during a meal.

3. I will only discipline out of love and not anger.

4. I will not go crazy about boys because parents who are too strict about boys and everything else drive girls to dance on poles when they go to college or to make an appearance on Girls Gone Wild.

5. No matter how many kids I have I will not let the younger ones get away with anything. My strictness would be consistent for every child for all times.  They will all be treated the same.

6. I will never use baby talk. I will speak like an intelligent person to my kids regardless of their age and I will never change my voice or sound like a different person (like the Wiggles men do).

7. I will never let the kids watch The Wiggles.  Never.  No matter how tired I am.  No matter how much work I need to get done.

8. I will not take pictures of them in the bathtub especially if there is more than one in the tub.

9. I will never lie to them.  I will only tell them the truth every time.  Is there a Santa Claus…truth.  Did you study a lot…truth.

10. I will not tell stories about them in public without their permission.

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Knock On Wood

My wife is a bad driver.  There is no other way to explain it.  Every car she has ever driven she has hit another object.  Her car, my car, her parents car…When we got our beautiful Expedition EL she got into another car accident less than a month after we got the car.  I know it is so wrong, but I got really upset.  It was a minor accident but the damage was severe to our car.  Go figure right.  We have the giant SUV and our car gets the worst of it.

As I said, I know its so wrong but I got really upset…

Wife: I got into another accident. (She said it in a way that I knew she was ok and that it wasn’t too serious…so don’t judge me for what follows next)

Me: WHAT?  WHY?  HOW?  WHO?

Wife: What happened was…

Me: Why do you always do this?  Why don’t you drive more carefully?  This is gonna cost so much money!!!

Wife: I am SORRY!  It was an accident.  I didn’t do it on purpose.  I didn’t hit another car just so I could make you angry!

Me: WHATEVER!  Let’s get some ICE CREAM!

This is the truth by the way.  We really went to go eat ice cream after my hissy fit.

So we get to the ice cream shop.  There is no parking and no street parking so I yell in frustration and get ready to leave.  I look in the rear view mirror and a street parking spot opened up behind me.  I look for cars and start to back up.  We have a huge car that has a rear sensor that beeps if you get close to something.  That sensor was useless because I had our bike rack in the back so there was constant beeping.

Anyways, I back up and all of sudden I hear crumpling.  I get out and for the first time in my life, I hit another car.  First of all, it was a BMW convertible.  I couldn’t see it because it was so small.  The damage to his car was enormous because the bike rack rode all the way up his hood and side.  He yells at me.  I yell back.  When I get back to the car, my wife has a grin on her face.  I look at her at say, “What?”  She said, “Nothing.  Nothing at all.”

My wife was really good about not rubbing it in but I knew she was secretly enjoying all of this.  The worst part of all this was fate not letting me forget.  Every time I talked to the insurance company…

Me: Hi, I wanted to check on the status of the accident I reported on such and such date.

Insurance: Oh yes. The one in the morning on such and such street.

Me: No.  That was the accident my wife got it.  I am talking about the one in the afternoon on such and such street.

Insurance: Can you hold?  Are you referring to accident on such and such date?

Me: Yes and No.  My wife got in an accident in the morning and then later I hit a car in the afternoon after yelling at my wife.  I get it.  I get it.  I deserved it.  I should have knocked on wood.  Can you just checked the status of my accident.

I hate karma.

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