The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

Strange Punishments

Every culture has its own unique way of disciplining kids.  Growing up a lot of my white friends had to wash their mouth with soap if they cursed.  Asians make their kids raise their hands in the air and other stuff too.  Below is a list of the some of the strangest punishments I received.

#1

I am a nail biter.  Ever since I was a kid I bit my nails.  It drove my mom crazy.  She would always tell me to stop.  In my stubbornness I would keep on biting away.  One time she threatened that if I didn’t stop she would make me eat them.  I thought she was bluffing.  Well one day I bit my nails right before dinner.  She grabbed me, cut all my nails and toenails and put them in my rice.  I had to eat that nasty thing.  Really gross.  Unfortunately not very effective since I still have that bad habit.  But I will admit…when I bite my nails and see rice…I shiver.

#2

I am 6′ 1″ and have not grown an inch since I was 12.  I was a big kid.  One day in junior high my mom gets really mad at something I did and started to hit me with this giant stick.  I get ticked off and grab it out of her hands, open the back door and chuck it into the backyard.  My mom looks at me and with a gentle soft voice said, “Ok.  Ok.  I am gonna let your father know what just happened.”

I was deathly afraid of my dad so I run into the backyard, grab the stick.  I put it in the hands of my mother and while holding the stick with her proceed to beat myself with the stick screaming, “HIT ME!  HIT ME!”  I didn’t want to deal with the wrath of my father.  Luckily my mom didn’t rat me out.

#3

Growing up my brother and I used to give each other “titty-twisters”.  Sorry for the language.  Don’t know what else they are called.  Anyways, we would pinch each other really hard on the nipples and make the other person whistle.  Well, my mom hated this.  Absolutely hated this and told us to stop on numerous occasions.  Well, one day she had enough and made us face each other and take off our shirts.  She said, “If you like doing this so much why don’t you do it to yourself!”  My brother and I were obviously confused.  She clarified, “Take off your shirts and pinch your own nipples now.”

At first my brother and I pinched ourselves laughing.  My mom got mad and yelled, “Make it hurt!  Since you like hurting each other, why don’t you hurt yourselves.”  Now we start crying while pinching ourselves in the man-boob area.  I yelled (while crying), “This is sick.  This is just sick!”  My mom started laughing and ended the punishment.  Two dudes, no shirt, red boobs.  Kind of strange.

Filed under: Funny Stuff

4 Responses

  1. farahcho says:

    purple nurples. hahaha

  2. yoonie says:

    hahaha, your mom is way creative, maybe not as effective as she hoped, but dang…

  3. yoonie says:

    i mean toenails over rice…not pleasant sounding…

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