The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

Saddest Days of My Life | Fighting Parents

My wife and I have a great marriage.  We have our issues but we love each other and for the last ten years have been able to work things out and grow in our love.  Nevertheless we do fight.  One time we got in a really big fight right in front of the kids.  It was not a lovers quarrel. It was one of those fights where any shred of love is void and not present.

During the argument I was yelling at my wife pretty loud while she was crying.  While I was yelling my oldest daughter (who was five years old at the time) yelled over my voice crying, “Stop making my mommy cry!!!”

I stopped on a dime.  It was one of those moments where I was in the middle of total emotional, irrational meltdown and was instantly brought to a clear and sober realism.  I immediately apologized to my wife for being a total moron and unloving husband.  I sat my kids down and apologized for not loving their mother the way she deserved and for not being a good father.

Later that night I wept.  I wept hard.  My wife and I held each other that night in our bed and we bawled together.  That day, it was as if I took out every ounce of love and respect I had for my family and threw it out the door because I felt that my ego wasn’t being tended to.  I let my pride rob my love and dignity.  I caused my wife pain.  I caused my children pain and fear.  It scared me to see how I could run away from the thing that I needed the most (love of my wife and family).  It shook me to know that my love could so easily be hidden and put away.

We have had our arguments since then both big and small.  We have had our lovers quarrels on the way to church (yes…I am the pastor).  We have argued at the dinner table.  But since then or before then, we have not argued in such a way that any hint of love was void.  I think that’s what made my daughter cry.  Even at a young age, it shook her to see absolutely no hint of respect and love.  We have worked hard to make sure that never happens again.

Filed under: Saddest Days of My Life

5 Responses

  1. thanks for sharing this, alex. it’s not every day people share their struggles and open up their past for us to learn from. none of us are perfect, but i feel like we get lost in the race to appear holy and flawless. it’s really scary what we’re capable of at times, but it’s good to know God is constantly changing us. thanks for your transparency! you challenge me to be transparent as well.

    -Daniel

    • thepunypundit says:

      thanks for sharing your thoughts daniel. the road to transparency was not an easy one for me, but grace really does change and gives me the confidence to be comfortable with who i am both as sinner and saint.

  2. Derek Manning says:

    Thank you for sharing this Pastor. Words cannot express what this means to me.

  3. Wilton says:

    This reminds me of that one sermon you had on the deadliest of sins which you accurately identified as pride. The reason is because it makes us blind to our faults and makes us believe we are right when all other logic would prove us to be wrong. Fortunately, you were able to be reached by the sentiments of your daughter. Humility is the only virtue that can save us in a time like this and I believe this moment will resonate in your heart forever. Thank you for sharing this and thank you for being my light and my guide to Christ, to God, and to a more fulfilling life.

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