When we were living in Philly my wife got into a big accident. What made it scarier was that she was in the last trimester when she was pregnant with #4. That day she took my car and went to meet a friend. She was on a two lane road and lost control of the car. She accidently yanked the steering wheel too hard and went left to on coming traffic. Luckily no car was coming at her when this happened. She ended up on a grass field where she slammed on her brakes. It had been raining so the grass was wet and she skidded and went straight into a telephone pole at about 35mph.
I get a call that she had been in an accident so I left work and went to the scene. It was then I realized how big the accident was. You see, a year before her accident we lost a friend at seminary. She was driving to downtown to help out a friend’s store who was going on a mission trip. She spun out and hit a telephone pole sideways. Even though she was wearing a seatbelt she died instantly. When I saw the skid marks on the grass I saw that Michele and #4 were fortunate to hit the pole the way they did. Also, the airbags did not deploy. At the time the doctor said it was a good thing even though there are mixed reports on pregnant mothers and airbags.
I am not a crier. I know my blogs tell you otherwise but prior to marriage and kids I rarely cried. Maybe 2 times a year max. Since then I have been an emotional mess. Prior to marriage and kids, I teared up at a movie once and I watch a lot of movies. Even when I teared up I was able to suck it back into my tear ducts so technically there was no drippage. Now a touchy commercial makes me tear up.
Nothing makes me tear up more than the thought of losing my wife and kids. That day I rushed my wife to the hospital. The doctors did their tests and kept her for awhile to make sure everything was ok. The good news is that mom and baby were ok. That day my head was spinning. On the one hand my wife was ok. However seeing the accident scene really affected me yet I didn’t have time to think about it. We had to rush to the hospital because of the baby. Like all husbands the thought of losing my wife is unbearable. In many ways it is the worst thing about getting married. The reality that this life is temporary can be very unsettling at times because it is a fact that even my marriage has its days numbered. Although this is real, I just can’t get myself to dwell on it more than 10 seconds because it is too hard. Too painful. 10 sec gets my soul aching and I emotionally lose it.
As I shared in the intro of this series, I am blessed because my saddest days are also beautiful ones. They were both ok. After the accident I got paranoid for a long time. Every time my wife had to drive or go someone, I needed her to call me or let me know she arrived. If I couldn’t get through I would get frustrated or antsy. I still worry but have seen improvement.
I do feel somewhat silly sharing my saddest days as events that ended up ok however at the time they brought a sadness I will never forget.