The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

The Break Up

Every dad dreads their daughters growing up and dating boys.  Unfortunately for me, #2 didn’t wait till junior high or high school.  No, #2 had her first boyfriend four years ago when she was 4 years old. Below is how I found out and what followed that terrible news…

I come home from a series of meetings and while we were eating dinner my wife says, “#2, tell daddy what happened at school today.”

#2 says, “We learned about bugs and the letter ‘g’…”

Wife: “No tell, daddy the other thing.”

#2: “What?”

#1: “#2 has a boyfriend!!!”

Me: “What?!!!  What!!!”

Wife is smiling.

Me: “What!  Why!  How! Who!”

#2: “Oh yeah.  I have a boyfriend.  His name is D.”

Me: “How did this happen?  What happened?”

#2: “D asked me to be his girlfriend forever.”

Me: “Forever?  What did you say?”

#2: “I said yes!”

Me: “This is bad.  This is very bad.  You are not allowed to have a boyfriend.  This is unacceptable.  Why did you say yes?”

#2: “I like him.”

Me: “DID YOU KISS HIM?  DID YOU KISS HIM?”

#2: “Eww.  Of course not.  That’s gross daddy.”

Me: “Ok.  This is what you are gonna do.  When you get to school tomorrow you are gonna tell D that you are breaking up.  You are gonna just be friends…no…no friends.  You cannot talk to him anymore.”

Wife: “Calm down.  You can’t act like this or they will never tell us the truth as they get older.  And don’t tell her to not talk to him.  Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is.”

Me: “You be quiet.  How could you let this happen?  What kind of person would let this happen?”

I am losing my mind.  I tell #2 that I will be taking her to school the next day and that she is to point out D to me.  My plan was to take him to the bathroom and put my knee in his face.  My wife made me promise not to do anything or say anything.

Later that night when the kids were getting ready for bed #2 walks up the stairs, stops, turns, and looks at me with a smirk.

Me: “What?  What do you want?  What are you looking at?  I can’t believe you said yes to D.”

#2: “I said yes because he is SOOOOO HANDSOME!”

Then she walks upstairs giggling.  I don’t remember what happened after that because I passed out.  Just kidding.  But if I could pass out on purpose I would have passed out.  I love #2.  She is awesome but she makes me worry.

The following week another boy J asked her out.  This time she said, “No.  We are just friends.”

FML!

Filed under: Uncategorized

3 Responses

  1. Esther Chang says:

    hahahahahahahaha i love #2! she’s so sassy~ hahaha

  2. yoonie says:

    hahaha, smart girl!!

  3. […] my kids” dialogue.  So I start. I talk about how #2 had a boyfriend by the time she was 4 (click here to read).  One of my friends is close to my age and has four kids.  His wife shares that their daughter, […]

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