The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

Family Competition

Growing up my brother and I were very competitive.  Because we lived during a time when boredom actually existed (tomorrow’s blog will be about the loss of boredom) we turned everything into a game. When we were kids we use to have races in the pool like the olympics.  One time my brother got so sick of losing he took off his swim trunks and swam butt naked (not like the olympics).  I asked him what the heck he was doing.  He replied that he wanted to be more aerodynamic.  So I took off mine.  Can you imagine this?  Two korean kids swimming naked in their pool.  Thank God the gardner and pool man came the day before.

As we got older we remained competitive.  When I got married my brother lived with us.  The condo we were renting had tennis courts so we played tennis two to three times a week…winner gets slave points.  Slave points are single item things you have to do at the command of the winner.  So when I won I told my brother to go to the market and get me bread…NOW!  He would have to do what I say in accordance with the international laws of competition.  My wife use to shake her head watching two grown men battling like children.

Today sadly the competition continues.  We both play golf and really get into it.  Loser has to pay for the other person next time.  I have lost three times in a row and cannot contain my frustration.  We are so silly we are gonna buy a really ugly jacket that the loser has to wear…like the Masters except uglier.

Why am I sharing this?  Well, my son has that competitiveness.  I think it is genetic.  As a father you hate to see your bad attributes in your kids.  This is one that I love.  I love that he is competitive.  Two stories…


One time our friends were watching our kids so the wife and I could go on a date.  There is a Mormon church across the street from where we live and sometimes we take our kids there to ride their bikes in the parking lot.  So my friends take them there.  They ride around and around in a circle along the edges of the lot.  My friends told me that my son was the slowest.  Each time the girls passed him they had a jolly time being faster.  My son tries to beat them in a race but can’t so what he does…after the girls passed him, he simply waited for them to lap him.  As they prepared to lap him, my son would pretend to be winning because they are behind him now.  As they approached he would yell, “SUCKAS.  YEAH SUCKAS!”

The funny thing is that they would pass him again.  The cycle would continue where they would lap him.  He would wait and yell SUCKAS!  Hilarious.


Two weeks ago our family went bowling for the first time.  I normally bowl between 150 and 190.  That day I sucked.  I lost to my son and my wife and bowled an 87.  Anyways…as my son and I were washing our hands…

I asked, “Hey dude.  Did you have fun?”

He replied, “YES!”

I asked, “Do you like bowling?”

He said, “Only when I win.  Bowling is fun when you win.”

I asked, “So if you lost you it wouldn’t be fun?”

He said, “That’s right.”

Wow.  Vince Lombardi would have been proud.  Sinfully, so am I.


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