The Puny Pundit

Musings of a big guy with small thoughts.

Mr. Mom Day 3

For those of you reading for the first time…I am watching all five of my kids so my wife can take a break.  This is day three of daddy day care.

Below is a timeline of the events between 7am and 2am March 24…

7:00am…Wake up and get the kids ready for school.  Need to sack a lunch for #3 because he has a field trip.  Sign permission slip for #2’s field trip next week.  During that process I realized I lost my wallet.  I do that thing we do when we try to retrace our steps.  Figured the only place it can be is the bakery where I took the little ones to lunch yesterday.  So I call….they have it.

8:00am…Drop off #1-3 at school.  Since #4, 5, and I are in our PJ’s again, I decide to drop the kids off a little further away from the drop off zone.  When we get back home I help change #4 and #5 into their clothes.  Today was leggings day.  While trying to put on the leggings #4 says, “That’s not how mommy does it.  She rolls it up into a ball and then puts it on my foot”…I smile and realize how much I miss my wife.

9:00am…Drop #4 off at school.  She is still replacing my Dan Patrick Radio Show.  When I get home I turn on the tv for #5 and start blogging.  While I was trying to blog, #5 would shout every so often.  Three months ago I lost a significant portion of my hearing, so not clearly hearing what she is saying I shout back, “Later!  Daddy is doing something right now.”  She keeps shouting.  I yell the same thing back at her.  The third time I go to see what she wants.  She is watching Dora the Explorer and that show has kids repeating phrases and words.  So what she was yelling was words like, “Backpack!  Backpack!  The Map!  The Map!”  I had to laugh.

11:30am…Pick up #4 and take the little ones to lunch.  On the way to the sandwich shop I ask #4 if egg salad sandwich is ok.  I asked this because my wife makes it for them all the time and I know she likes it.  Oddly, she starts freaking out.  “No egg salad!  No egg salad!”  I give that look I give when I think demon possession might be in view.  I am confused because I know she loves it.  After a few more outbursts I realize she thinks it has vegetables in it like a salad.  So I say, “Do you want an egg sandwich?”  She smiles and says yes.  While eating her egg sandwich (on an italian roll), she tells me how much she likes it.  I roll my eyes.  Then she says the cutest thing, “Daddy, I love this bread because it doesn’t have crust.”  The woman next to me has a pile of crust on her table feeding her two kids.  Right when I think she might let me talk, she interrupts and says, “Sometimes I like crust…sometimes I don’t like crust…today I don’t like crust…but daddy didn’t get me crust…”  Man she really likes to talk.

12:30pm…Put the little ones down for a nap while I do a little work.

1:45pm…Attach the bike rack to the trailer hitch.  Attach the additional piece.  We have a hitch that can hold four bikes.  Yes we are going bike riding today at the park.  Fill the tires with air for four bikes.  Load up the bikes.  Wash my hands like a good boy.

2:30pm…Get the little ones in the car and pick up #1 & #2.  They are hungry so I stop by McDonald’s for a snack.  Crazy huh?  Going to a restaurant for a snack.  After this we stop by home to make sure everyone goes pee because I hate taking kids into public restrooms.

3:30pm…Pick up #3 from school whose field trip was cancelled and head off to the park.  Had to cancel a phone meeting I was suppose to have with my mentor because of the change.  Because the tiny parking lot was packed I had to park half a block away.  #4 and #5 did not appreciate the fact that we had to walk a distance to get to the park.  Remember how I said yesterday that those two like to stop and smell the roses?  Well the park we went to is one city over in San Marino where the richest people in the world live.  Their homes have tons of roses so getting to the park took a long time.  We get in and #1-3 start riding their bikes while #4 and #5 go to the playground.  #3 just learned how to ride a bike so he was a little shaky.  This concerned me because there were a lot of kids out.  Kind of scary and funny when he almost crashed into a lady pushing her little kid in a stroller.  I enjoyed watching her politely squirm and try to avoid my son whose head was down trying to get his feet on the pedals (while the bike is rolling down).  Of course five minutes in #5 says she has to poop.  I tell #1 & #2 to take #5 to the bathroom.  They go in and come out right away.  I ask why they came out so fast.  #5 saw mosquitos flying around and decided that wasn’t cool for her.  I asked her if she is okay and she says yes (mind you that she is squatting and grabbing her butt).  I tell her not to poop in her pants.  She runs off to play.  Five minutes later she says she has to poop again.  Same thing…bugs…no poop.  All this is happening while a mom is making small talk with me.  She recognizes #5 from school.  She is probably thinking that I am the worst dad in the world.

NOTE TO READER:  #5 is screaming “backpack” again right now.  She is watching Dora the Explorer as I finish up this blog.  I have a smile on my face.

4:15pm…I bought a kite at Costco (the greatest store on earth) and we decide to try and fly it.  There is absolutely no wind but my kids don’t care.  I put the thing together and….I have never flown a kite.  #2 says she will hold the kite while I run with the spool of string and that she will throw it into the air.  I think…why not.  So I start running like an idiot while #2 is behind.  Obviously I run faster than her so she falls down and I just run while the other kids are screaming, “Run daddy, run!”  I look back as I am running and all I am doing is dragging the kite on the grass.  At this point all the parents watching their kids’ soccer games are now watching me.  We try again.  I start running while #1 holds the kite running behind.  We did this for thirty minutes.  The whole time I am doing this I am thinking of all the pollock jokes and had a strange feeling there was a connection to my experience.

5:30pm…We get home and I feed the kids dinner.

7:00-8:30pm…Sort out clothes with the kids because I don’t know which clothes belong to which kid.  I delegate the work of putting clothes away to #1-3.

8:30pm…Put the kids to sleep.

9:00-10:00pm…talk to the wife on the phone.

10:30pm…Fall asleep.

By the way…#5 still hasn’t pooped. I am a little worried.


Filed under: Mr. Mom

4 Responses

  1. Joyce Chang says:

    oh man. i hope she poops soon. hang in there! you’re doing fine 🙂

  2. Esther Chang says:

    funny story~ i was helping your daughter poop at church last sunday and while we were in the bathroom, she talked non-stop about random things in nursery, hummed and then asked for some water. LOL i was like, “oh you’re done! yea, let’s get water”. but no…she got thirsty from squeezing. LOL


  3. Kevin Lee says:

    Hello! Thanks for listening to The Dan Patrick Show! I work on it. 🙂 I love your entries! I went through your entire blog in a week haha.

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