In 2007 my wife gave birth to our fifth child. Five kids in seven years. I know…I suck. My in laws still haven’t forgiven me. Anyways, I digress. While my wife was at home recovering I decided to give her a break and take the other fours kids by myself to 24 Hour Fitness. I drop them off at the kids club and I go to work out. Fifteen minutes later a young african american man taps me on the shoulder and says are you #4’s father? I say yes. He looks at me moving his mouth like he ate something nasty and is trying to get it off his tongue.
I ask, “Did something happen?”
He says (shaking his head), “Nasty man…just nasty,”
I ask again, “What happened?”
Apparently my daughter pooped in her diaper, reached down and pulled it out. After this she rubs it all over her head. When I got to the kids club, there are like 30 kids in there. The smell is horrendous. My daughter is in the middle of the room while everyone else formed a giant circle around her (approx. 30 foot radius). I go to change her diaper only to find that I forgot the diaper bag at home because I am an idiot.
Had to call the wife out of her rest and she saved the day again. The story of our lives.