Survivor Series: An Inconvenient Truth

As the title suggest, An Inconvenient Truth technique is when a kid actually confesses what they did wrong without excuse or blame.  It is when a kid comes clean and is fully prepared to accept the punishment that was outlined by the judge (me). I don’t have any stories to illustrate because this has never happened.  Have a great weekend.  Hope you enjoyed the series.

Next Week…

1. How I Met Their Mother

2. Public v. Private School of Discipline

3. How to Deal with Demon Possession

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Survivor Series: Movie Medley

Below is a medley of movie titles and how they remind me of techniques my kids use to get out of trouble.

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Survivor Series: The Exorcist

New series | Movie titles that remind me how my kids get out of trouble

The Exorcist is the technique of choice for #4.  God has blessed her with very strong lungs and we saw this at a very early age.  So what is The Exorcist?

One time we were at Costco (best place on earth) and #4 did something she was not supposed to do.  As I prepared to scold her she preemptively strikes with The Exorcist.  She screams at the top of her large lungs like she has been possessed by some demonic force, “NO MM!  NO MM! NO MM!”  She is screaming, kicking, and waving her arms around.

NOTE TO READER: MM is the abbreviation for the Korean word for spanking “mae mae” or aka: I’m Gonna Git You Suka.

Here is the funny thing.  She is trying to alert the public that something illegal is about to take place and that they need to save her.  What she doesn’t realize is that is why we say MM.  No one understands what she is saying.  So while it was embarrassing, this act produced sympathy for me in the public eye rather than condemnation for being a parent who uses MM as a disciplinary tool.  I love immigration and being bi-cultural.

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Survivor Series: Sleeping Beauty

New series | Movie titles that remind me how my kids get out of trouble

Sleeping Beauty is when a child…let me just tell the story.  You’ll get what I mean.

Two years ago our family was driving somewhere.  During this trip #2 starts crying really loud.

I ask, “What happened?”

#2 is crying so hard she can’t talk so #1 answers, “#3 punched #2 in the face.”

I am really upset so I look in the rear view mirror to scold #3 but he is pretending to be sleeping. Unreal.  I have never gone from pure anger to vibration (trying to hold in laughter) so fast.  My wife and I are both looking out the window trying so hard not to laugh even though what took place was so bad.

If you ever come across the Sleeping Beauty technique, the most important thing is to not laugh.  That will be your greatest challenge in executing discipline for this type of survival skill.

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Survivor Series: The Negotiator

New series | Movie titles that remind me how my kids get out of trouble

This technique can only be implemented by socially savvy kids.  #2 is that kid.  For some reason, God gave her a beautiful face and a whole lot of social game.  Ever since she was little, she knew how to work it.  I will never forget one time she got in a lot of trouble.  On the way home I said, “#2, you are gonna get spanked for each time you did that thing I told you not to do.  By my count, you are gonna get five and they are gonna hurt!”

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Survivor: Kid Edition

I am a pretty strict dad that desires obedience and quiet.  No matter how serious I take my job as a father, there are so many occasions where my kids absolutely bust me up.  These moments seem to be more frequent when they are getting into trouble or more accurately trying to get out of trouble.  I can’t tell you how many times my wife and I start laughing or just leave the room while disciplining our kids.

Kids, like adults, by nature are committed to self preservation.  I started to think about how my kids try to get out of trouble.  As I thought about this, for some reason my mind started thinking about movie titles.  So for the next week I will be sharing a movie title that represents their various techniques for surviving.  I hope you enjoy this new series.  For us, these stories have lightened up rather serious moments.  Great reminder not to take yourself or your kids too seriously.

FYI: I will share the first one 12pm Today PST.

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